I, Hypocrite

Comes another autumn of seasonal delights and carnage.

Autumn is coming, and that means two things: pumpkin-spiced everything, including, I believe, bleu cheese dressing, anti-fungal ointment, wasp and hornet killer, Pfizer Vaccine Special Punkin’ and Vita herring snacks.

So, definitely, that. The other shoe that inevitably drops in fall is the crippling football casualty. Yes, football. The new NFL season beckons and, sure enough, a week ago a foot injury ended Jacksonville Jaguars running back Travis Etienne’s rookie season before it began. It was in a pre-season game against the New Orleans Saints, when the first-round draft pick sustained a Lisfranc fracture and was lost for the year.

He’s in good company. A few days later, Baltimore Ravens starting running back J.K. Dobbins went down against Washington with a torn ACL, ending his 2021 season. The same for New England Patriots linebacker Raekwon McMillan. Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback DeMarkus Acy is out for the year with a torn achilles tendon. Same injury, same outcome for  New York Giants tight end Levine Toilolo. Atlanta Falcons tight end Jaeden Graham and quarterback A.C. McCarron are both finished for the year with knee injuries, as is Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Olabisi Johnson.

The pre-season ended last week, but through the 17-game regular season the list of the incapacitated will grow, with weekly traumas to the cervical spine, lumbar spine, cervical disc, lumbar disc, AC joint, rotator cuff, anterior cruciate ligament, medial collateral ligament, meniscus, patellar tendon, hamstring, pectoral muscles, biceps, achilles tendon, fibula, tibia, patella, hand, wrist, femur, humerous, toe, elbow, pelvis, ribs, sternum, orbital bone, collarbone, hip, spleen, kidney, eye and brain.

As in concussion. As in Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. As in dementia and suicidal depression.

Hey, enjoy the season! How are your nachos? You good? Can I grab you another IPA?

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